dudeee okay so there's this BUM-ASS kid at my school. let’s just call him Desperate.

And man, Desperate is like.. REALLY desperate. Like painfully, obviously, publicly trying to date one of my friends. But the way he goes about it ?? It's the most cringe over the top cornball nonsense I’ve ever seen. I get second hand embarrassment EVERY time he opens his mouth bro. I swear I’d rather my friend date LITERALLY ANYONE else. Like anyone but him. And it’s not just that. Bro is ACTUALLY so ugly. And I AM trying to be mean. And he STINKS too. I’m serious. You ever smell someone so bad your nose folds in on itself? litt Desperate. So today I’m on ft with my other friend. we’ll call him Gojo Fan. We're just chilling talking about school and Desperate comes up in the convo. And I start GOING OFF. Like full vent mode. And Gojo Fan who's been friends with Desperate since like 4th or 5th grade or whatever is like “Wait what ??” because apparently EVERYONE thought I was just crazy for thinking Desperate liked my friend. Until I broke it down. Like courtroom evidence. I told Gojo Fan how Desperate is always touching my friends head like shes a damn pet or something, always being weirdly close. and I’m sitting there looking at this airball. And I’ll be honest I’m JEALOUS bro. Yeah. I’m not even gonna lie. I’m super jealous. But I don’t even care. She deserves better than that weird thing. Anyway the other day we had this big test, right? And Desperate, who is so stupid bro takes like the WHOLE DAY to finish. So at the end of the day, I’m chillin’ with my friend, and he walks up to her with his corny ass and deadass says “Dude, I’m so happy I get to see you. I wouldn’t survive a whole day without you.” I wanted to pimp slap him bro. And she just SHRUGGED it off like “haha okay” but I told Gojo Fan what happened and suddenly he’s putting the pieces together and realizing ohhh snap Desperate do want that cookie. AND I HATE IT. I hate it so much bro I swear if they date I’m gonna jump. Anyone but desperate. please anyone but him.